How to ask for help at work

Dear WW: There are some really smart people where I work. But I’m nervous about asking for their advice, because I think that this will reflect poorly on me. LIFELINE

Dear LIFELINE,

I saw an interview recently with the National Basketball Association’s only free throw shooting coach, Gary Boren. Despite the fact that so many games are decided by free throws, only the Dallas Mavericks have a coach exclusively focused on them. One advocate for Mr. Boren is Jason Terry. Turns out that the Maverick’s point guard would high-five teammates before he finished the follow through on his shot, when he focused more on his shot and less on the high five, his shooting percentage shot up.

Unlike Mr. Terry, most of us would be better off if we put ourselves in a position to receive more support from our coworkers. I’ve included three do’s and one don’t below focusing on how to get more high-fives where you work. For more, check out Joseph Folkman’s book, “The Power of Feedback” (Wiley, 2006).

DO-believe that people care. Sure there are combative workplaces out there where people are constantly at each other’s throats. But they are the exception rather than the rule. Most people want to get along. So it’s better to start from a position that people care about you than to cynically isolate yourself from your coworkers. Give most people a chance to help you and chances are that two-thirds, or more, will come through with flying colors.

DO-believe people have something to offer. I wish I had a buck for every time someone wrote or told me that they work with a bunch of know-nothing jerks. I won’t argue the jerk part, but I believe that most people at work do know a thing or two that could help your efforts. Your coworkers probably have a few tricks for getting along with the boss, how to work company policies to your advantage and even advice on how to do your job more effectively. But you won’t learn these tricks of the trade until you open up a channel of communication with them.

DO-practice random acts of kindness. Actively look for opportunities to help your coworkers. Not to lecture them, but to offer them real solutions to the problems they are facing. Sure, there will be people who won’t reciprocate, but they tend to be the exception and not the rule. Regular readers of this column know that I hate to have to ask a favor of someone that I haven’t already done a favor for. Sure this takes time and energy, but I can’t begin to tell you how many times these acts of kindness have paid off down the road.

DON’T-assume asking for help shows weakness. I actually believe the opposite-not asking for help today at work can be career threatening.

Follow these tips and your coworkers should be willing to throw free help your way. Help that should make you more effective.

Thought for the Week

“I am not young enough to know everything.” James Matthew Barrie

Bob Rosner is a best-selling author, speaker and internationally syndicated columnist. Sherrie Campbell is a relationship and business professional, having applied her counseling background in a variety of challenging organizational settings. They’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic, especially if you have better ideas than they do. Also check out their complete column archive at workmash.org, “The Boss’s Survival Guide” and “Gray Matters: The workplace survival guide.” Send your questions or comments to bob@workmash.org.