My boss is an idiot!

What’s your strategy for dealing with an idiot boss? 

Your Rant: I work for an idiot. I’ve been looking for a new job to get away from him, but I can’t seem to land anything. DUMMY

911 Repair:

Have you heard about the latest trend in plastic surgery? Doggie facelifts. One surgeon said he sees a lot of rich women who have already done everything that they could do to themselves, so now they are getting facelifts for their dogs’ low-hanging lips and drooling problems.

Far be it from me to criticize how a rich person spends her money, but this does illustrate a key challenge in dealing with an idiot boss. The desire to try to make them over in the image you think they should have. This is silly to try with your dog and dangerous to try with the idiot who just so happens to sign your paycheck. Until you can find someone sane to work for, I’ve listed a few strategies to deal with some of the most common types of idiot bosses below. For more, check out “How to Work for an Idiot” by John Hoover (Career Press, 2004).

Do you give your micromanager boss a lot of updates on what you’re doing? Micromanagers are usually more interested in quantity than quality. So I’d give it to them by the shovel full. Give them constant updates via voice and e-mail. Show them reports. Plow them under until they plead for mercy.

Do you keep your activities in plain sight for your paranoid boss? The last thing you want to do is make a paranoid boss more paranoid. Trust me, I’ve got experience here. Since a paranoid boss can see even the most innocent conversation as a threat, you’ve got to keep them very informed about everything that you’re doing and why you are doing it.

Do you bring everything back to the egomaniacal boss’s agenda? The last thing that an egomaniac wants to see is work that won’t somehow come back to make them look good. That’s why it’s so important to tie everything you can back to their goals.

Do you connect the dots for your dense boss? It never ceases to amaze me how often we assume that people will connect the dots at work. And how seldom they do. For a dense boss, I like to outline the problem that I’m addressing, the actions I’ll be taking and the results that I’m hoping to see.

Do you keep a paper trail for your less-than-honest boss? Paper trails are not only something that bosses can use against you. Keep a file of e-mails, write down a record of your conversations that include date and time, etc., whenever their actions are questionable.

Some doggie surgery is considered medically necessary, for example when a Boston terrier’s small nose interferes with its breathing. And there can be times where you have no choice but to try an operation on your boss. But proceed with caution or you could end up in the dog house.

workplace911 Pulse:

What is the best way to deal with an idiot boss?

Fight ‘em, 14.5 percent

Forget ‘em, 42.3 percent

Flee ‘em, 43 percent

User strategy:

Our winning strategy for dealing with an idiot boss comes from C.R.G. in Gatineau, Quebec, Canada: “The problem with the strategies outlined in your article is that they ultimately all make your idiot boss look good. Not necessarily a good thing. That idiot boss then gets promoted and, God forbid, may become a member of the executive team and then actually wield real power — enough to make the lives of many more unbearable. And if you’re less of a people person, think about the impact on productivity if employees spend their time catering to these types. The best strategy for dealing with someone like this is applying oneself seriously and landing another job.”

Bob Rosner and Sherrie Campbell author the nationally syndicated workplace911 column weekly. Bob’s a best-selling author and award-winning journalist who has responded to over 50,000 emails from employees, bosses and entrepreneurs. Sherrie’s a relationship expert and award-winning comedian who has offered quick, intuitive and humorous responses to over 30,000 people. He’s been called “Dilbert, with a solution.” She’s the counselor with a kick. Together they’ve turned rants into raves via TV, radio, print and live on their website at workplace911.com.