Would you rather work for a MAN or WOMAN boss?
What is your strategy for working with a man or woman boss?
Your Rant: I really struggle to understand how men think at work. Can you give me some insight so I can do a better job of working with them?
911 Repair:
Whenever I think of the workplace battle of the sexes, I think of Michael Bitar. He’s not a professor, consultant or corner-office sage. Nope, he’s a guy who had $1,500 in damage done to his SUV by a turkey. The turkey pecked deep scratches in the bumper and paint because he thought he saw another turkey in the reflection.
This reminds me of the battle of the sexes in today’s workplace. Instead of truly taking the time to understand how men and women often see the world differently, we tend to peck at our own image of what we think the opposite sex should be saying or doing. I’ve outlined a series of ways that men and women see the world differently to help both sides build a bridge of understanding to their better half. For more, information check out “Trends” by Peters and Barletta (DK, 2005).
Women think peer, while men think pyramid. As you read the points listed below, you’ll probably feel like Mr. Peters and Ms. Barletta made each of their comparisons more complimentary to women than to men. I think it is important to look past that (and remember I’m a guy). I think we need to realize that this is not about pointing fingers but about learning from each other. And I’ve never been a big hierarchy kind of guy anyway.
Women think we, while men think me. I must agree, that it’s only recently in my career that I started to add the word “we” to my vocabulary. I do think that men tend to call their own number more often while women are more suited to looking at what is good for the organization. As in many things, there are times for we and times for me, the challenge is using the right tool for the job.
Women want trust, men want respect. I’ve heard that respect is more important than trust line a million times. I’m even embarrassed to say that I’ve said it a time or two. But I’ve learned that it isn’t true. Respect isn’t really possible until there is a level of trust. So if you are keeping score at home, in my humble opinion this one goes to the women.
Women affiliate, men differentiate. Like we and me above, this one really is a split decision and depends on the circumstances.
Women laugh with, men laugh at. This is a real pet peeve of mine. I think that there is way too much teasing at work; and men do the lion’s share. I think that humor should never be at someone else’s expense.
Don’t be a turkey at work. Appreciate that someone of the opposite sex is someone that you can learn from, not just someone to try to hen-peck into submission.
911 pulse:
If you need an important job done, who do you feel more comfortable turning to?
A man, 44.1 percent
A woman, 55.8 percent
User strategy:
Our winning strategy for dealing with the battle of the sexes at work comes from S.C. in Bremerton, Wash.: “How I deal with the opposite sex is the same way I deal with all people. I let them be themselves. People are not perfect and I try not to project myself onto them. I look at each person individually and always try to find something ‘good’ about a person even if I don’t get along with them. I look at everyone around me as a potential teacher and I am supposed to figure out what they are going to teach me. By looking past a person’s characteristics and getting to their intentions is when I fully understand where they are coming from and what they need.”
Bob Rosner and Sherrie Campbell author the nationally syndicated workplace911 column weekly. Bob’s a best-selling author and award-winning journalist who has responded to over 50,000 emails from employees, bosses and entrepreneurs. Sherrie’s a relationship expert and award-winning comedian who has offered quick, intuitive and humorous responses to over 30,000 people. He’s been called “Dilbert, with a solution.” She’s the counselor with a kick. Together they’ve turned rants into raves via TV, radio, print and live on their website at workplace911.com.
Filed under: Boss Management (G), Emotional Intelligence (V), Managing a Diverse Workforce (V) | Tagged: Boss, gender, Man, Woman, working for the opposite sex
Yeah, I’d like to put in a word of support here for men! Men are (in my experience) often easier to work with than women because of the “what you see is what you get” factor. They don’t stew. They don’t take stuff personally. Mostly.
My health care office is primarily staffed with women. I’m one of three guys. Another guy does what I do; the third is the executive boss. I report pretty much all of my activity to a female boss/supervisor. She’s my age; in fact, I think I’m a few months older, but she could resemble a peer.
I’m sensitive to gender issues, certainly, but I feel like my transactions with my female boss don’t quite go over so well. She will often converse and engage the other workers in the office, talk about their dress/clothing, what they do in their leisure time, and exchange pleasantries. She’ll make an occasional comment about my hair (it’s longer and wavy), but I feel like I’m kept an arms-distance. Whenever I have to report project management tasks, I think I’m a pretty clear communicator but I spend the bulk of the time trying saying the same stuff over and over again. If problems and issues occur, sometimes I think I get blamed or fussed at, when I do my best to keep the channels open.
The blessing in disguise is that I’m moving in a few months, and I can put this job behind me. I just have a tough time dealing sometimes because I think I’m a nice guy, I work hard, I’m VERY respectful of people’s space (e.g. sexual harrassment). I’m pretty frank and mostly quiet because I don’t talk about boys or yoga or whatever. I don’t pretend to have an interest, but clearly I still feel kinda shut out.