Responding to a taboo topic at work

 What is your strategy for dealing with a taboo topic at work?

Your Rant: My boss has a way of always managing to embarrass me in front of my coworkers. I’ve tried everything to avoid getting sucked into one of his taboo conversations that I don’t want any part of. But he’s still my boss. Any suggestions?

911 Repair,

A woman emailed me a great strategy for responding to an illegal question in a job interview. Asked if she had kids, a job interview no-no, she thought about answering “four” because she really wanted the job. Or announcing that she was refusing to answer an illegal question, and probably falling off the short list of top candidates. Instead she paused, smiled and asked, “Do you need kids to do this job?” The interviewer immediately changed the subject. She was offered the job, but turned it down.

Humor is just one way to deal with a taboo topic at work. I’ve listed three do’s and one don’t below with more strategies for handling a hot potato at work, even if it comes from your boss. For more, check out Barbara Pachter’s book, “New Rules of Work” (Prentice Hall, 2006).

DO-ask a question. One trick I’ve learned from dating is that if you ask a question that a woman doesn’t want to answer she’ll often pause and immediately ask you a question. Most guys are so full of themselves that they’ll dive right into her question and totally forget the question that she’d left unanswered. Ah, testosterone. Try this with your boss by immediately asking a work-related question that he’ll feel compelled to answer and you might suddenly find the conversation switching to a more acceptable topic.

DO-change the subject. This doesn’t have to be subtle. Wait a moment or two and say, “I’ve been meaning to tell you about my latest conversation with our largest client.” Then just launch into your description of the call and why it’s important. Many of you will think this is rude, but if it gently moves your boss off the taboo topic without a direct confrontation, I’d say go for it.

DO-use humor. Humor is not for everyone, but it can be a great tool for a situation like a taboo topic. For example, just get a big smile on your face and ask, “Do we really want to go there?” Or, if your boss has a sense of humor, ask if you’ll get immunity from prosecution, in writing.

DON’T-get sucked in. Most of us feel compelled to dive right into a conversation with our boss. We can’t respond with a neutral response like an “ahh,” “hmm” or a simple nodding of the head. I’m not talking about a sarcastic look and a dismissive and disrespectful grunt. Nope, something absolutely bland and forgettable. Remember you’re not making a statement here, you’re just trying to get out of the conversation alive.

Your sense of humor is often one of your best tools at work. Don’t leave home without it.

Thought for the Week

“We live together as rational human beings or we die together as fools.” Martin Luther King

Bob Rosner and Sherrie Campbell author the nationally syndicated workplace911 column weekly. Bob’s a best-selling author and award-winning journalist who has responded to over 50,000 emails from employees, bosses and entrepreneurs. Sherrie’s a relationship expert and award-winning comedian who has offered quick, intuitive and humorous responses to over 30,000 people. He’s been called “Dilbert, with a solution.” She’s the counselor with a kick. Together they’ve turned rants into raves via TV, radio, print and live on their website at workplace911.com.