Identifying harassment at work

What is your strategy for dealing with harassment at work?

Your Rant: This guy I’ve been working with for the last few years has suddenly decided I’m his “dream girl.” He’s constantly sending me lurid love notes and begging me to date him. I’m starting to avoid meetings and hallways where I’m likely to see him, but that’s getting in the way of my work. I’m embarrassed and don’t know what to do.

911 Repair,

Remember Mitsubishi’s old slogan, “the word is getting around”? It’s taken on new meaning these days-ever since the company was accused of sexual harassment at its plant in Normal, Illinois. Well, it turns out what’s “normal” in Normal may have a new meaning for you, too, because the situation you’re describing could also be sexual harassment.

Hard to believe? Listen up. The courts today are taking the position that sexual harassment doesn’t require a physical assault. It just needs to be “unwelcome” and have a “negative impact.” Locker room humor, lewd calendars, and, yes, repeated and unwelcome requests have all spawned successful lawsuits.

So you may have a more serious situation than you realize. I’d suggest reading Step Forward by Susan Webb (Mastermedia, 1991). It’s one of the best primers on recognizing and addressing sexual harassment. The following questions have been adapted from it and should help you decide if the behavior you’re experiencing has crossed the line into the harassment camp.

Is the behavior sexual in nature or sex-based? Clearly fondling has no place at work, but as we said before, behavior doesn’t have to be sexual to be considered sexual harassment. It can be any comment or joke directed at you simply because of your sex.

Is the behavior deliberate and/or repeated? Graphic or invasive behavior can happen once and be considered a problem. But less flagrant behavior (like being asked for a date) can be harassment too-if it happens a lot.

Does the behavior affect your ability to work? You don’t have to lose a job or a promotion to have been damaged in the eyes of the court. A negative atmosphere that impedes an employee’s ability to work has been legally deemed harassment.

Is the behavior not welcome, not asked for, and not mutual? If you decide this behavior does seem like harassment, and decide to file a claim, the investigator will want to know how you reacted. The theory is “it takes two to tango,” and it’s important to show that you weren’t a willing partner.

Webb suggests starting with the “broken record” approach: saying over and over again, “I don’t appreciate it when you say that to me. I don’t appreciate it when you say that to me. . .” If that fails, check out your company’s sexual harassment policy. You may be able to file a claim in-house, or you may need to hire an outside attorney.

Fortunately, “the word is getting around” about sexual harassment. Thanks to Mitsubishi, what used to be normal in Normal, won’t be normal for long.

Bob Rosner and Sherrie Campbell author the nationally syndicated workplace911 column weekly. Bob’s a best-selling author and award-winning journalist who has responded to over 50,000 emails from employees, bosses and entrepreneurs. Sherrie’s a relationship expert and award-winning comedian who has offered quick, intuitive and humorous responses to over 30,000 people. He’s been called “Dilbert, with a solution.” She’s the counselor with a kick. Together they’ve turned rants into raves via TV, radio, print and live on their website at workplace911.com.